I remember being really small, to small to see over the edge of a table. My father had this glass snow globe and I remember who lived inside the globe, two snowmen, the small one was me and the other was my father, and we were holding hands. We had red scarves around our necks and we were smiling as the pretend snow fell on our heads. Well, my father told me this story whenever he allowed me to hold the snow globe. I would shake it until a swirl of snow would appear, and I would watch it with fascination as it settled again, it always made me smile to see me and my dad in the globe together. Since the first day I saw it dad had always said it was us inside, and at that age I believed in magic and happy fairy tales and so I believed what he said to me… well, in my own child like way. “As long as we had that globe”, he would say, then we would always be together.
As I grew a little older I came to love my father more and more, but somehow I felt that things were not the same now, because he and mum were not getting along and he was forced to move out and I only saw him on weekends, this made me sad. I heard mum talk of going to court over me and that dad wasn’t to be around us anymore and that I would have a new dad.. how can I have a new one? I don’t want two, I want my real one.
At school today the other boys poked fun at me and said that I didn’t have a father, their dads sometimes picked them up to take them home in their cars, but now my dad didn’t anymore. I thought of my dad as I walked home alone and wondered about the snow globe that he had given me when he had left, and his promise to me, a promise of togetherness. As time passed dad wasn’t allowed to come to see me anymore and he disappeared at the weekends too. I am confused now and mom doesn’t tell me anything about dad, and yet I still love him very much.
It was late and time for bed and tomorrow was another day. Before I switched off the light I took hold of the snow globe, I always kept it at my bedside. I looked at dad and me inside holding hands, I gave it a good shake as the snow flurried up inside and I began to cry, because it always made me think him. I held it close to my eyes, so I could see all the beautiful sparkling details. And then something magical happened, my dad the bigger snowman with his broad grin, seemed to wink at me reassuringly, I’m sure he did? I woke early in the morning and as I looked out of my window I could see that outside it was all white with snow all around, for me this had special meaning and was no coincidence, so I like to think. I took hold of the snow globe, as I always did first thing in the morning, but now strangely, just one snowman was inside without his smile, he was all alone with no-one to hold his hand. I was mystified by his disappearance.
I am all grown up now, and to this day I keep my mysterious snow globe with me and I still have it by my bed. Hoping that when I shake it that my father will come back to me and reappear inside after the snow settles. The two of us together again… Just as it was before… in the snow globe, dad and me. I’d like to take him for a pint after our walk in the snow, we always loved to go walking in the snow.