BBC film “kids in the middle” confirms that in truth mum has all the power.

On the 4th of April 2012 the BBC broadcast a programme called “kids in the middle”, I watched it with some sadness ,but it also confirmed to me that mums have all the power and dad’s have very little. link below.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01fkc7s/Kids_in_the_Middle/

It is the bittersweet story of Keith and Dawn who have three children, from the start you quickly come to realise that both parents equally and genuinely love their children with all their hearts. However, it soon becomes apparent that Dawn’s love is given greater attention and consideration, by the Family courts, than Keith’s love for his kids. Keith is not accused of harming his children he seems to be a kind and gentle father who is stricken with the fear of losing contact with his children, so fearful in fact he seems quite willing to be debased and belittled by a system, that evidently, is giving Dawn all the power over him and to suggest how often and in what circumstances Keith has contact with the ones he loves.

The level of contact Keith is given is derisory and ultimately will be damaging to the relationships he has with his 3 children. He sees his children in a contact centre once hour every 2 weeks for one hour where he is closely observed by the staff. In one scene a staff member questions Keith in front of his children about what he is doing with a computer he is showing to his children.  Like a child he is firmly informed that it will be alright on the condition that he doesn’t go on the internet and to be careful about what he does with it, he is humiliated as though he couldn’t be trusted to be with his kids and to be a good father for them. I found this shocking and cruel, but I know that such lack of attention and care is afforded to fathers in some of these contact centres, I have been to some.

The programme suggests that the reason as to why these contact centres need to be used is when parents cannot reach agreement about the children, and so in these circumstances dad, and not mum, will need to go to a contact centre. Therefore, it would seem then that the default position in these circumstances ,when parents can’t agree, is that mum gets what she wants! After all she is the resident parent and her rights seem to take precedent in the courts when disagreement takes place, and dads will have to take the back seat, humble themselves and accept the dregs of whatever is handed to them. Keith was in a no-win situation and he knew it too, but I couldn’t help feeling sorry for him.

Yes I am a man and father, you could suggest I am biased in favour of fathers, but after seeing this film it would be impossible to suggest that fathers have equal rights to that of mothers, how could we have when 93% of custody awards are given to the mother and this surely gives mothers all the power to do as they please. I admit it is a great shame that I mention the word “power” in such a context as children as though that was the holy grail to obtain for either parent, it isn’t, but unfortunately when a father knows that they don’t have one ounce of say in their children’s lives, you just come to know that you are indeed powerless to do a thing about it!

The video that you just have to see if you genuinely love your child!

I have just watched a video at ‘Utube’ entitled “equal shared parenting”, by someone who has the tag name of “yousuckatparenting”. I am sure the tag name he uses is meant in a paradoxical way, in that he indeed knows he is a good father and parent, but has made to feel that he isn’t by the family courts. I urge you to go and look at this video, in fact I order you to(with respect) Link directly below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5No-XixoT0c

I was stunned and struck by the wisdom and common sense found in this video, and now it is my privilege to try to promote it as best I can. The message is one of informing warring parents that the Family Courts are not the place to entrust the interests of their children and in fact in doing so the situation will only get worse. I second this advice for it is indeed true and demonstrable by experience.

I have experienced, to my emotional cost, that what this remarkable film is saying is truthful. That yes the courts will encourage you to fight and to squabble, and all this eagerly promoted by the lawyers and barristers who are financially advantaged by the longevity of the case… the longer it lasts, the more they get paid!

I have seen enough of the heart-break and severe emotional turmoil that poor parents have gone through at the hands of these so-called ‘caring courts’, that are supposed to make sure that the “welfare of the child is paramount”. An empty expression, wooly and directionless and easily misapplied to mean just about anything a judge wants it to mean. It has been applied to the detriment of our children, on the basis of the above words Judges have sentenced many children to a life without a loving father, all on the hunch of some unproven accusation, that is possibly a lie from the alienating parent, usually the mother, but not always.

All I can say is that I wish that all parents could see this video and apply its counsel and put the emphasis on the child as it suggests and be prepared to put aside their grievances and selfish wants in a spirit of peace and harmony…. all for the sake of your child.

For Gods sake, I ask all parents out there if you genuinely love your child, don’t go to the Family courts, sit down and talk about putting your child first, in that way you will be putting its future first as well.

(I thank QV for directing me to the video in question, please, you should all see it.)